On Recovering from Rough Days
Sometimes mornings don’t roll out of the right side of the bed, and an afternoon can unravel without warning. Today was one of those days, when piles of dishes and tired kids’ meltdowns intersected with the intensity of the day’s commitments and a heart-weary woman. Their so called nap time [Heh.] consisted of wailing in one room and raucous laughter in the other, and my sanity was waning.
But somehow, in the middle of the afternoon, a recovery was made. Their night ended with Snowy Day and lullabies, and mine with slightly softening heart and strewn toys re-ordered, even if the sink, still piled high, whispers even now of tomorrow’s litany looming.
And I’m not sure when the turning happened, but it had me pondering the practical ways we crawl out from the chaos, in the midst of the crazy. And I thought of my mom, a master of the practical, and the simple gestures that can change our course, when we’re too soul-weary to see the forest from the trees, the just-get-you-through-the-day-til-you-can-get-the-quiet-your-soul-needs kinds of practicalities. So here’s five that seem to work when desperation strikes here, every now and then:
1. Eliminate the word NO from your vocabulary for a day.
This was my mom’s number one tip. Decide for the day, even the hour, that the word NO will not pass through your lips. Whether its the chicken or the egg, sometimes a constant negative response begets a cycle of conflict. Now, I’m not suggesting you say yes to any request (Sure, honey, you swing your brother from that chandelier!) but consciously choosing to ban NO causes us to think about what we’re saying, to pause long enough to hear the heart behind the question. Redirect, if necessary, but let this day be one where you choose in. Just for today.
2. Make a change of scenery.
A trip to the library. A desperate plea for a spontaneous playdate with that friend you’ve been meaning to connect with. The back yard. Sometimes just leaving the chaos behind can create a buffer zone, embarking on a new adventure gives everyone an opportunity for a new start. Sure, you will have to come back to it, but you’ll have gotten out, turned a page.
3. Accomplish something {singular}.
Let go of the long list of how things should have gone today, and focus on one small, attainable goal. Bleach the tub, organize the junk drawer, sweep the floor or make cookies. (Hmmm… tough call there.) Give yourself a free pass for the day from all that you’d hoped to accomplish, just for this day, and soak in the satisfaction of one small job done well.
4. Join the resistance.
Sometimes, turning the tables upside down, putting on your bunny slippers, and announcing an impromptu screening of Mary Poppins in a pillow fort gives everybody a break. That means you, too, Mama. Leave your smartphone or copy of the Hunger Games in another room, and be fully present in the ridiculousness. Go all out, have the pillow fight, and start fresh with new structure and systems tomorrow.
5. Make an SOS call.
Give your kids a free pass, something that will occupy them for at least twenty glorious minutes (my new favorite, courtesy of a wise mama: a classic read-aloud audio book from the library & a big box of Lego) and call a friend. Admit defeat. Let her give you a pep talk and remind you that you’re normal. Be honest, laugh at yourself, and give your kids a hug before your jump back in. Do pizza or cereal for dinner, keep it simple.
And when you’ve made it through the day, and you will, friend, and they’re all miraculously sleeping, you can take the time you really need. Pick-up the mess and re-order your brain, center your soul, take a bath, or implement a new plan of attack for the routines and responsibilities of the day. Figure out what works for you to restore peace and order to your heart and home; its different for everyone. And remember, the way the day starts or the how of it’s unraveling does not determine the way it ends. (Ask Micha.) And tomorrow is a new day, hope springs eternal, and there will be new mercies with the morning sun. So hang in there, okay?
Do you have a practical tip to turn the tides of crazy day? Leave a comment & tell us: what works for you?
